I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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