I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
