I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
