you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
