Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
