She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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