dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
