Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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