I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
