separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
