I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
it hurts more in the daytime
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
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