Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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