ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
