thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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