Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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