The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
