There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
