i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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