There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
