I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize