What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
