sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
