Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
