I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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