Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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