peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
