TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
