didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize