4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You're my little dorito
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize