White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
