you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
