If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize