hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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