grandma shit on top of the toilet
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
organizing the empties. That sober.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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