I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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