Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
