Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
