Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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