That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
