He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The feeling are messing with the penis
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
