guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize