ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
