That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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