I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
They took my balls.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
