Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize