Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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