y did u give ur computer a hand job?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
