Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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