dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
