we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize