last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
