So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
