She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
