i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
