i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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