yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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