I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
