What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize