remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
