Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
