Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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