you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
