Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize