WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
