I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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