Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
foreskin is a definite game changer
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
